From Diapers to Diplomas, Vaca Ready, & Finding Me
My youngest son—the baby of my tiny little family—graduated yesterday. And let me tell you, beyond proud doesn’t even scratch the surface.
As the baby of the family, he quite literally gets whatever-the-fuck he wants. Youngest child syndrome in full, fabulous effect.
I’m the oldest of three. His dad? The baby of of three.
The evidence is clear, we know exactly where his spoiled brattiness comes from — spoiler alert: it ain’t me.
I though I’d be okay. I thought I’d feel a weight lift off my shoulders. Like, wow—not only did I raise five human beings to the age of eighteen without completely losing my shit, but I’ve also made it to the ripe ol’ age of -(non of your fucking business)… and I’m still not a grandma.
*Pats self on back
The accomplishments keep checking themselves off the list!
And now… here I sit. One grown-ass child still living at home, very much self sufficient and a hard worker — the rest scattered about—off building dreams, living with family, figuring it out, making their way.
So, naturally, I ask myself: What now? What the fuck do I do now?
After the applause faded and the photos were taken—after the hugs and the “we did it” smiles—I sat alone for a moment longer than I expected.
No one needed me right then.
No permission slips.
No reminders.
No rides to coordinate.
Just silence… and the unfamiliar echo of it.
That’s when it hit me: this chapter didn’t end loudly. It ended softly. Like a door closing without a slam. And I wasn’t ready for how quiet it would be.
Because honestly, the only thing I’ve really known how to do—decently, at best—is be a mom.
Motherhood shaped me—but it also swallowed me whole at times.
I don’t regret it. Not for a second.
But when you’ve spent decades pouring yourself into everyone else’s becoming, it’s disorienting to realize you still get to become something, too.
Navigating life without the kid's’ school schedule, sports schedule, weekend birthday parties you don’t even want to go to-but you put that fake smile on your face play nice, and act like you are having the most interesting conversation, yet your mind is whirling on the things you want your man to do to you in bed later that night.
Meanwhile, “Susan” wants validation on why her kid acts like a dickhead most days, and although you just want to scream “YOUR KID IS AN ASSHOLE!”— you nod your head and agree with whatever-the-fuck she babbles on about, providing her with the unrealistic validation she sought.
Now I have time. Space. Possibilities.
And yet, I’m frozen at the starting line of my own damn life, wondering where to even begin.
Do I take that dream Alaskan cruise? Fly to Europe and finally take that WII history tour I told my Jewish date about? Sip champagne in the French countryside? Stroll through Scottish castles and actually touch history?
How do I chase these dreams while still juggling real life, work, blogging, ambition—and the often time overwhelming question of how to just… live?
Honestly, I’m still figuring it out and letting my intuition guide me.
My brain’s been a nonstop wind tunnel lately. Ideas, tastes, desires—all swirling around like a damn tornado that prioritizing feels impossible.
ADHD? Sure, it’s a factor. A huge one actually.
I manage it. Meds help, but I don’t rely on them every day.
And when I don’t take them?
— my brain turns into a coked-up hamster on a Peloton.
ADHD doesn’t make me broken—it makes me expansive.
It’s why I feel everything deeply. Why I romanticize the mundane. Why my creativity comes in waves instead of straight lines.
I’m learning not to fight it anymore. I’m learning to build a life that works with my brain, not against it.
I know I want to fall in love with wholesome foods, experiment in my kitchen, and romanticize the shit out of everyday life. Continue to learn the piano, and become a better person for myself daily.
Because I don’t need anyone to do it for me. I want someone who wants to do it with me.
And so, with my babies grown and the parenting playbook slowly closing, it’s time for something new. Something just for me. A life not dictated by bell schedules or bedtime routines, but one that I choose—intentionally and joyfully.
This time in my life is sacred.
And I’m finally learning to live it as me—not just the mom.
But as Erica: the writer, the blogger, the aspiring author and maybe screenwriter.
The advocate.
The soft-spoken badass who once had five kids under one roof and has a pending passport ready for stamping and a heart ready for whatever.
The former teen mom who broke all the stigmas, used her voice for something bigger, and clawed her way through the fire.
The little girl whom I hope sees her future self and thinks, I’m so proud of you.
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I don’t know exactly where I’m headed next, or when. I know I’m getting my passport. My BÉIS 'The Travel Starter Set' in Maple in tow.
I know this: one of these blogs will be written from a sun-drench balcony in Greece, a café in Paris, or a misty cliffside in Scotland. Or all the above.
Does it sound delusional? Maybe.
But there’s something powerful about acting like the life you want is already booked.
Maybe with someone who makes everything in me soften.Someone who certainly has made it feel that way.
Whatever the case, I’m wide open. I’m ready. And I’m grateful for it all.
Until next time…
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| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 |
| Length, in | 20.00 | 21.00 | 22.00 | 23.00 | 24.00 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 15.62 | 16.50 | 17.37 | 18.37 | 19.25 |
Introducing the Women's Boxy Tee, a blend of comfort and style that effortlessly elevates your casual wardrobe. This tee exudes a laid-back vibe, perfect for coffee lovers who want to showcase their passion in a fun way. Its boxy fit offers a modern silhouette, making it ideal for layering or wearing solo with your favorite jeans or shorts. A great gift for friends or family who appreciate humor in their fashion, this tee is perfect for birthdays, casual get-togethers, or just lounging at home with a cozy cup of coffee. With its vintage-inspired look, this tee is suitable for everyday wear, seasonal celebrations, or as a quirky addition to your coffee shop outings.
Product features
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Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Comfort Colors® 3023CL, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean
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