The 90s Sitcoms Lied: Reinventing Yourself Isn’t a Midlife Crisis
“UNLEARNING TAKES GUTS. REWRITING YOUR LIFE MID-WAY THROUGH ISN’T EASY.
IT PISSES PEOPLE THE FUCK OFF. IT MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. BECAUSE WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU SHOW OTHERS HOW DEEPLY ASLEEP THEY STILL ARE.”
Entry Ten: Sexpectations vs. Reality: Dating in your 40s- Part Deux
“Because when sex is good–with the right person–it’s a goddamn religious experience.
And that blowjob you used to dread giving?
It won’t feel so much like a chore anymore.
It’ll feel like a gift.
One your mouth is happy to deliver. With grace and a little bit of vengeance. “
Meeting Your Inner Wild Child - Mine? She’s Crazy, Curly, & C✨ty.
“WHY DID SHE OFTEN FEEL ALONE? WHY DID SHE THINK GETTING PREGNANT AT SIXTEEN WAS GOING TO UNLOCK SOME KIND OF DEEP, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SHE WAS MISSING? WHY DID SHE OFTEN LOOK TO MEN FOR A COMFORT THAT LASTED A MERE FORTY SECONDS– JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR MY EX-HUSBAND TO NUT.”
The Sacred Shit Show Before the Start
Healing is a slow, annoying, mind-bending process that sometimes feels like trying to do yoga in a straightjacket. And when life gets quiet, my brain—being the chaotic cunt it is—fills the silence with worst-case scenarios and imaginary arguments with people I haven’t spoken to in years. Staying in my Positive Polly era is a full-time job, but sometimes it just feels like the world is crumbling and I’m stuck underneath it with a tiny plastic spoon and a half-charged vibrator for support.
