My Interpretation of My Mother’s Roast Pork, Pernil
“Within the last year I was visiting Florida and vividly remember the look on her face when I threw away an empanada I only took one bite out of. Her reaction -
“I’ve never saw a whole empanada in my garbage can before.” Disdain filled her words, and if looks could kill.
It’s not my fault, I have hot girl belly issues. I CANNOT have tomato sauce in every single dish I eat. Hence, I offended my mother in the worst way ever — by insulting her food.
The worst kind of offense to a Puerto Rican woman…”
Bistro Style 🥘 🇵🇷 Chuck Roast
“Let it stew in its own juices like a freshly dumped 42-year-old perimenopausal woman soaking in a bubble bath sipping her third glass of cabernet, rubbing one out like no ones fucking business.”
Trés Leches Tiramisu Cake ☕️
“If I wasn’t lactose and almost positive I’d shit my pants—I would drink this in a heart beat .”💕
