Trés Leches Tiramisu Cake ☕️

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Jun 16

Twin B has never been an easy child, so when I asked him what kind of cake he wanted me to bake him for his 21st birthday his first response was Tiramisu, no. Trés Leches.

What if we combined them??

B has a way about him that gets me to do whatever the hell he wants. How? I’m not sure. But I thought about it and figured it couldn’t be that difficult.

I was wrong...

This cake, however delicious and delightful it may be, its also a pain in the ass. Don’t for ONE second think you remember something in this god forsaken list of ingredients and steps… THE STEPS!!!! Without double and triple checking.

I will provide you the ADHD medicated version while still attempting to paint the picture of the debacle I caused in my kitchen while unmedicated and baking… I hope you can keep up.

*If you are attempting to bake this for the night of an event, make sure you make ahead of time. It requires 8 hours of fridge time for the milk to soak the sponge—annoying, I know. Worth it, 100%.

Ingredients 🍰

4 large eggs
1 cup all purpose flour
1 ¼ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
⅛ teaspoon cream of tarter
¾ cup + 2 tablespoons sugar
½ cup milk whole milk
2 tablespoons instant coffee
1 ½ cups milk whole milk preferably
¾ cup heavy cream
7 ounces sweetened condensed milk
2 teaspoons TJ’s Bourbon vanilla extract
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup + 2 tablespoons confectioners sugar
1 cup mascarpone
⅛ teaspoon salt
Cocoa powder for dusting

READ THE STEPS FIRST FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!

PRE-HEAT OVEN to 350 degrees

~SEPARATE FOUR EGGS, COVER AND SET ASIDE-

Do this at the beginning so when it’s time to start whisking eggs they are already at room temp and you want to separate them while they are still chilled form the refrigerator.

~COFFEE MILK RECIPE ~

Mix 2-tbs instant coffee (I use Bustelo Espresso) into 1.5 cups of whole milk,
Then add and mix ~ 3/4 cup of heavy cream, 7oz sweetend condensed milk, 2 tsp Tj’s Bourbon Vanilla
*SET ASIDE

Coffee Milk

*If I wasn’t lactose and almost positive I’d shit my pants—I would drink this in a heart beat 💕*

~DRY INGREDIENTS ~

Sift together

1 cup all purpose flour
1 ¼ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt

Set Aside

*I don’t have a sifter- I just whisk the dry ingredients for 60 secs and voilà.*

~EGG WHITES ~

Beat until stiff peaks form… you will know when they look ‘pretty’ almost iridescent.

4 eggs white

1/8 tsp cream of tartar

Also, use a hand mixer—not need to pretend we are in the 1890s. Click the link for the one I purchased on Amazon.

~ EGG YOLKS ~

Beat 4 egg yolks for about 2 minutes— until thick (just how he like it).

Add ¾ cup + 2 TBS sugar IN 3 BATCHES and continue to beat for about 4 more minutes, until thick and falls back as ribbons when beater is lifted.

Add ½ cup whole milk and beat just until incorporated. ( I forgot the fucking milk—don’t do this)

Ribbons 🎀

*This is what I assume the eggs, sugar, and milk mixture would look like once mixed in completely.*

Harmonizing the DRY & WET ~

Add sifted flour mixture in 2 additions to the thick egg yolks (the second addition is where I remembered I forgot to add the milk to the egg yolks—added said milk here and it came out fine-ish)
Then, fold the beaten egg whites into the batter gently, scraping the bottom and sides of the bowl, until just combined.
Pour batter into prepared pan, spreading into an even layer.
Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, until slightly golden on top and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes clean.

You thought we were done… WRONG!!!

We now need the cake to cool completely… Once it is, we will poke tiny little holes all over the top, pull out the coffee milk mixture we made earlier (give it a stir before adding) and slowly pour over cooled cake.

*Set aside for 8 HOURS

Yes. You heard me right. Best thing to do is let the milk soak into the sponge and absorb all those fatty, sugary flavors.

**ALSO… SHRINKAGE (giggle) will happen!! As the cake cools it will shrivel up like a post dick appointment appendage, don’t worry about it. It’s supposed to happen. Once we add the moisture back, that puppy will plump right back up… Kinda like in real life also, huh??

8 Hours later…